Penn State-Themed Crumbl Cookie Flavors – Onward State

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Crumbl Cookies, a fast-growing cookie store chain with a rotating menu, recently opened up its first State College location. Crumbl’s menu of more than 200 cookie flavors changes weekly and features everything from the classic chocolate chip to more obscure flavors like cornbread or caramel popcorn.
Since the bakery is new to Happy Valley, we wanted to offer a few Penn State-themed flavors that the cookie joint could add to its growing arsenal of cookies.
Arguably the best creamery flavor, the iconic Grilled Stickies is the first option we could think of. Just imagine yourself biting into a warm cinnamon-flavored cookie with a slightly crunchy cinnamon sugar coating on it, but it’s soft and gooey on the inside. These flavors are about to get pretty ~out there,~ but honestly, a Grilled Stickies-flavored cookie sounds absolutely gas.
If Bert Kreischer likes Dirty Sprites, why not make them into a cookie? Now, I might ditch the alcohol from the cookie recipe because Crumbl is on the family-friendly side, but even without the party juice, it would be a great cookie. Also, just imagine the color. You could even drop a little Champs logo on top of each one.
It’s a staple in the campus dining lineup, so why can’t it be a staple in the Crumbl Cookie lineup? If you thought you’ve had enough grilled chicken thigh halal, think again. This cookie is going to blow your feathers away!
This one is for the boys. You know how when you enter a cocktagon to release a fat piss and step in a little bit of liquid on the floor and try to convince yourself it’s water…but the forecast is nothing but blue skies? Clearly, you stepped in another man’s urine. Okay — now take that feeling, and turn it into a cookie! Sure, it’s probably not the best-tasting cookie, but it would definitely be unique.
This is more of a personal opinion, but the Irving’s Chai Milkshake is one of the best things State College has to offer. Personally, we haven’t seen a Chai Milkshake-flavored cookie but think that it would be delightful.
Mhmmmm… It’s a Tuesday morning and bright and sunny out. Campus smells like cow manure, and OPP is out cutting the grass. You walk across Old Main and get a sniff of that freshly cut green stuff. You think to yourself, “this would make a great cookie flavor.” We aren’t saying that the cookie needs to taste like grass, but maybe it gives you the same feeling as freshly-cut Old Main grass. Feelings of comfort, hope, and accomplishment come with a nicely mowed lawn.
This one goes out to all the New York and New Jersey folks. We aren’t completely sure how this one will turn out, but we’re thinking it would be a bagel cookie base and have cheesy egg icing with little pieces of bacon on top. We are just proposing ideas here. It is up to the master Crumbl bakers to figure out how to make them work.
Stick with us here. It’s Tuesday of finals week. You have two massive exams tomorrow. You want to treat yourself for the hard work you’ve been doing but want to keep on grinding. So, you decide to do both by munching on a Crumbl finals week-flavored cookie. What makes it finals week-flavored? Well, it is a coffee-flavored cookie with Adderall-infused frosting. Yum! Now, you can enjoy a delicious, warm cookie while staying on task.
Special thank you to Crumbl for providing us with some stock images of its cookies that we used to photoshop our Penn State flavors.
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Rico is a junior advertising major from Pittsburgh who has been with Onward State since his freshman year. He loves to drink Diet Coke and eat Mexican food. You can follow Rico on Instagram @RealBigRico and TikTok @RealBigRico.
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